Another son, another battle

A couple of things.....it’ll be a busy week for the Hassetts. We’re at Stanford today awaiting our appointment with Dr. Alizedah tomorrow. He is the leading specialist on PTLD (Post-Transplant Lymphoproliferative Disorder) Alex’s particular brand of lymphoma. We will find out if Alex qualifies to participate in a study which is trying to detect changes in lymphoma on a cellular level, before it becomes detectable on scans. Because of the incedious nature of how PTLD reveals itself, this would obviously alleviate some stress on our part as far as having to figure out if some seemingly innocent symptom is in fact, cancer. I’m hoping Alex qualifies. This could change a number of things for us; things change, sometimes for the better but sometimes just because they do.
We had a really easy drive up (much less stressful than our drive to LA) and we even stopped by the Winchester Mystery House for their new ‘Explore More’ tour. So all in all, an enjoyable trip. We have a great little place to stay that is quiet & serene and on this visit we discovered a wonderful Chinese restaurant - it was a good day. We got a call before dinner from Stanford, the doctor had reviewed Alex’s blood work from 2 weeks ago & wants new labs drawn. I don’t think he knows what that does to my imagination.....what does this mean?  Was there something wrong with his levels?  Did he see something our oncologist back home didn’t see? Is the cancer back?  I’m trying not to go there. Perhaps he just wants additional tests that weren’t run 2 weeks ago.

I’m sitting on our balcony, enjoying the view and a conversation begins:

Me: what does this mean God?  What are you doing?
God: do you trust me?
Me: you scare me. You’ve already taken Ian. I know that trusting you can lead to pain.....but yes, I trust you.
A few years ago, maybe even more recently, I wouldn’t have been able to say those words. But we’ve made some changes recently that have put us on a path toward healing.  As hard as it was, we’ve left our former church home where healing & hope was hard to find. As much as we loved the people, and love them still, the theology was killing our souls. We could no longer go to a place that left us more depressed than when we walked in. We needed to pursue joy and we’ve started that journey.
I said we would be busy this week.......after we get back from Stanford I will finally have my knee replacement surgery. This is long overdue and I’m hoping that fixing my knee will allow me to do the things I want & need to do......like hiking, canoeing, working on the back yard, running errands for the Foundation and that second tour of the Winchester Mystery House!
My fortune cookie tonight at dinner said “you will be called upon to celebrate good news”....I’ll take whatever I can get.