What a sweet blessing....

I came home from Solvang today to a sweet blessing (literally - hot chocolate mixes, KitKat bars, muffins 😁) from an anonymous Sister in Christ.......thank you!  I'm most excited about my Mama Bear mug!  Which will go nicely with my Mama Bear key chain; seriously, I may have to put this on my tombstone.


After last Monday's surprising news about Alex's biopsy-that-didn't-happen cuz you need a lymph node to actually do one, we got a call from Stanford on Wednesday afternoon.  So we're back on the roller coaster ride, but so far, it's a kiddie ride.  They had just reviewed the PET scan and are concerned.  Of course, in the middle of this, our oncologist is changing his practice.  Dr. DiCarlo's last day at his former practice was Tuesday, Stanford calls on Wednesday and they can't reach him because Dr. DiCarlo's former practice will only tell Stanford that he no longer works there.  BUT Stefanie has his personal cell number which she immediately offers to Stanford.  They speak.  Stanford is a little less concerned but feels it would be prudent to try and get a biopsy so they have some pathology to look at and verify this is not cancer. 

We will be seeing Dr. DiCarlo tomorrow (Wednesday) at his new practice in SLO and he will be coordinating with Alex's ENT (whom we love and almost worship) in having an MRI or CT scan done of his neck area to see if it's possible to get a biospy.  Exhale.

So, in response to the last two weeks and in preparation for tomorrow and whatever may come after, I got my hair chopped off today and got a work-over from my massage therapist, Carol.  Carol's motto is "I'll get rid of that knot even if it kills you".

You know what I've realized is probably the most emotionally exhausting of this whole journey, having to pretend that life is normal.  Continuing with normal routines, putting the dread aside when you wake up in the morning and acting like cancer isn't hanging over our heads, trying to act like we don't know the bottom could collapse beneath our feet at any moment.  But we do it because that's what Alex needs; he needs to feel like his life is normal, he needs to do the things he loves and enjoys, he needs to pack as many memorable moments into his day as we possibly can.  We can't sit around and wait for the bottom to drop out.  That's a waste of his life and I won't let that happen.

So anonymous friend, THANK YOU for making today a little brighter.  I think I'll sit down with a muffin and some hot chocolate....